Apparently there are some shithead tumblrs by some “allies” who spend all their time complaining about how unappreciated they are, so I just wanted to give some examples of ally appreciation I’ve personally shown.
When my ex-husband and I broke up, he explained to his family and friends that I am gay and later that I am dating a woman who is transgender. He said that he was very happy for me to be finally living the life that reflects who I am inside and he would not tolerate anyone giving me shit about it.
I cried and hugged him and thanked him and will never stop thanking him.
When I came out to my mom, she was a little uncomfortable at first but then announced proudly to her family that I am gay and later, that I am dating a woman who is transgender. She said she would not tolerate anyone who gave me any trouble about that and she loves us both. She has since given several family members quite a hard time for not respecting this so that we don’t have to.
I thank her all the time.
When I had to go to a funeral, I explained to the girl behind me at work that we only have one bigoted family member to worry about. She said “That’s a lot.”
I thanked her for understanding.
One day in class, I was giving a presentation and somebody who didn’t even know I’m gay started making comments about lesbians. My professor saw me become uncomfortable and asked him to leave the class.
I smiled and thanked her and gave her class a great review.
All of these allies have one thing in common: they stood between me and bigotry. They saw me being hurt and they stopped that person from hurting me. Me. So I thanked them. I did. Not every other gay person on the planet. Not all lesbians. Not all transgender people. They did not and do not ask other queers for cookies and praise and thanks. That would be fucking ridiculous. They do not expect me to thank them when whatever it is they’re doing is simply a lack of bigotry (ex: voting for equal marriage, not saying “faggot”) This would also be ridiculous.
They do not do these things for the same reason that you do not thank a friend for getting gifts for your other friend, or for not punching your other friend in the face. Doing so would mean that you didn’t respect that other friend as a human being, or that you saw them as a different kind of person who did not deserve the same kindness as everyone else by default.
When you do that shit, we hate you. That’s why. So fuck off.